When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
Pero honestly, i’m doing quite alright. He did what I cannot do even though I’ve wanted to to do it for a very very long time now (but I can’t because I thought he would change). But, I’ve been extremely happy with everything that has happened to me since he left. A lot of awesome things happened! My friends never left my side, the new and the old ones. They were my rock, they kept me happy. They made me feel important, everything you didn’t do when you started to ignore me. And for that I am forever grateful.
I want to be happy for you, I really do. But breaking up with me over chat was really low (despite the length of the message). If you really did love me, you would think that I deserve a proper goodbye. But until the very end, you never had time for me (the main reason why we fought all the time). My friends told me I don’t deserve all the shit you’ve put me through. And I’m beginning to believe them. But I don’t regret the time we had together because I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned to not carelessly give your all to someone because people will break you in the end. I’ve also learned that not every goodbye leads to sorrow. Because I feel so free and so happy right now.
So to you, if you ever read this. I hope you’re fine with the fact that we didn’t get proper closure (which is okay i guess since i really don’t want to be near you again sorry lmao). I’m sorry if I wasn’t enough for you, or if I was too much. And thank you for the memories, the really good ones, and of course, for breaking me, i guess it’s true that for you to learn shit, you really have to learn it the hard way.
BYE FOREVER, LOZER JK HAHA I’M GONNA BURN UR PICS AND CURSE U DEJOKE LANG HAHA
PS: Don’t be a dickhead to the next girl you fall in love with and make her feel loved, even after all the panliligaw and even though na magkalayo kayo. Kasi putangina masakit na hindi maramdaman yun sa taong mahal mo :)
PPS. CHOOSE THE ADVICE YOU’LL FOLLOW. NOT EVERY ADVICE IS GOOD FOR YOU. I KNOW YOU’RE BETTER THAN THAT. ALAM KONG MABAIT KA AND MABUTI KANG KAIBIGAN (di lang talaga marunong magmahal awtsuu jk)
Looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you: Niall Looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Harry Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Liam Looks like he could kill you and could actually kill you: Louis
Loyalty isn’t grey. It’s black and white. You’re either loyal completely, or not loyal at all. And people have to understand this. You can’t be loyal only when it serves you. —Sharnay pimp-decisions (via pimp-decisions)
